My history with breathing

I came to mindful movement practice through the art of Taekwondo, whilst living abroad (circa 2006, South Korea). Returning home after two years away left me in a deep depression, and discovering yoga at that time had such a soothing effect on my anxiety - which has been a lifelong companion - that I fell instantly in love.

When I learnt to teach yoga in 2010, I was taught the basics of diaphragmatic breathing and classic pranayama practices such as ujjayi, kapalabhati and nadi shodhana/anuloma viloma. We were instructed to add breath-holds in set ratios, but only to people free from a long list of contraindications, and with little understanding of the potential benefits. Like many new teachers, I didn't feel particularly confident teaching kumbhaka and my students weren't asking for it, so lesson by lesson it began to drop off my planner until I wasn't teaching breath-holding at all. I think this remains the same amongst many 200 hour YTT courses today.

It wasn't until I entered the world of freediving that I truly found my breath. Right from the start we learnt about the biochemistry of breathing and retention, and why we mustn't breathe deeply before a dive. The biomechanics too, and ways in which to physically and mentally relax before a dive. There is nothing that brings you closer to your breath than suspending it!

During a period of three years I set five UK records swimming underwater on one breath, and represented the UK twice at the World Championships. I emphasise that I was 38 at the time, had lifelong anxiety yet excelled as an elite athlete in a sport best known for its relaxation. An irony indeed!

Since retiring from competition to start a family, I've continued to be fascinated by the possibilities of breath. Through friends and colleagues I've explored the world of transformative breathing (e.g. rebirthing, circular breathing) and energising breathwork (e.g. Wim Hof, SOMA). But nothing has yet come close to a relaxed pause; just being with myself for a while, suspended in time.

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